Well, now we are in a race to get our dossier submitted before Hunters country closes for 2 months! That would push our adoption back to march and he may certainly be transferred before then. SO, we have to get it all done.
One of the most frustrating parts of losing Svetlana is that we didn't even KNOW that we had to get it passed with our HS person ( i don't want to say SW, because she isn't) but anyway, we knew we were approved to adopt, she already told us that. RR said on the papers to ALWAYS put 2-3 children down, in case we decide on it later on in the process. So we thought the decision was totally ours to make. After much prayer, we thought we knew what God was telling us. It's not a committment to make lightly, so of course, our hearts were really in the decision.
I pictured her playing with Summer, them doing each others hair, and just being best friends. I pictured her out on the swing next summer and in the playhouse having a tea party. I had her middle name. I had told Rich that if we have another girl we would have to name her Glory, so in the morning I would say to her 'Morning Glory' cheesy I know. But we were going to name her Svetlana Glory.
I feel bad for Summer because she doesn't understand why she is now NOT going to have a sister. I wouldn't have said anything to the kids and get their hopes up if I hadn't completely beleived it was going to happen.
So, to make a long story short, we had no idea that this wasn't 'our' decision, but someone else's to make for us.
We don't want to persue other options because it would delay and jeopordize Hunters adoption, and since I KNOW where he will be sent, it's not an option for us. I totally feel for the families that lose a child after thinking for MUCH longer than we that a child was going to be theirs and to make that emotional committment and then have the pain of loss. We only had Svetlana in our hearts for a relatively short period of time, and it STILL hurts.